The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, making love carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are brought in to extremely tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and closeness .

But when problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay men desire to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) important link with your head. Get More Information This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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