The Sensuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful sensations of destination, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. Lots of gay men wish to find out from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

However, North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it blog is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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